13

Nov

Men call me things: it’s not as romantic as it sounds

ABC The Drum Opinion
11 November 2011

KeyboardKaralee Evans
Karalee Evans

Karalee Evans

You know, sometimes I really love Twitter. It’s a love that, like all great love affairs, has its good times and its bad times, but at the end of the day you know the good will outweigh the bad.

It’s a microcosm of society which can enrich your life should you approach it in a certain way; the meaningful camaraderie you build with like-minded Tweeters, the knowledge you can glean by reading content lovingly shared by people you follow, the previously inaccessible conversations with ‘personalities’ such as ABC Radio National’s Mark Colvin (one of my favourite Tweeters) and the network of friendships you can foster which when you move cities, can actually be a God-send and totally safer than relying on OKCupid.

It’s also a microcosm of everything that is bad about society and humanity’s penchant for drama. And the internet as a whole is a much bigger example of this. Not surprising when we understand its hyper-connected ability to amplify sentiment of the masses.

But what is it with the internet and misogyny?

We all know examples of when the internet turns bad. Trolling is not a new thing, it existed even in the days of MySpace and GeoCities. What seems to be on the rise, is compliance trolling and the phenomena of anonymous digital misogyny. When did faceless men decide it was acceptable to take it upon themselves and threaten women online with death threats, rape threats, violence and sexism?

The horrid abuse towards women who have an opinion and dare to share it online, is a scary indicator of the health of our society. The rise of misogynist trolling towards women – and we’re not just talking about the abuse directed towards Julia Gillard, Miranda Devine, Catherine Deveny or Marieke Hardy here – online is one of the things which at times, leads me to question whether my love affair with the internet is actually an abusive relationship that I need to seek escape from. Indeed, there have been times I’ve retreated to the women’s shelter of real-life and re-evaluated the relationship.

This was at its most trying a couple of weeks ago. I made the mistake of conducting an interview with News.com.au on the appeal or not of Google Plus for businesses, and was subjected to days of online abuse, anonymous emails, and comment threads filled with men calling me ‘love’ and telling me to ‘get back into the kitchen’ and my favourite, ‘the world would be better off without you’. Funnily enough, one of the men took it upon himself to email me after he had derided me for my ‘silly little girl’ views, and expressed hope that I wasn’t offended and was tough enough to cop it. Thanks, Jim.

Within the women with opinions that I follow online, I’ve witnessed varying degrees of this sexist trolling committed nine times out of 10 by men who rarely use their real identity, and the impact of which ripples out affecting their confidence, their security and their credibility. Because if a woman complains online over this turgid behaviour, she’s subjected to calls of being too emotional, or soft, or the old ‘if you don’t like it, don’t go online’. Would a woman garner the same dismissive reactions if she called this behaviour out in real-life?

Bullshit.

Leaving aside the discussion that this online abuse by men is just an extension of the continuing battle for equality by women (not because it’s not true or important but simply there are not enough words permitted in this forum) any online abuse is simply unacceptable and must be called out.

This is different. And that’s why I love the #mencallmethings Twitter hashtag and conversations which started on Monday. It’s like Dr Phil came on Twitter; we’re all talking about our experiences and naming and shaming the perpetrators. Started by feminist blogger Sady Doyle, the hashtag is a way to further the discussion of the sexist (and scarily threatening) abuses women who have an online ‘voice’, face.

The movement is empowering women to respond to their abusers with the same functionality the trolls take for granted – a platform to call out, name and shame. Marieke did that on Wednesday and named and shamed her most vocal abuser.

We all need to take responsibility for our own behaviour online. What would your wife, girlfriend, sister or mum think if they knew you anonymously posted comments telling a woman they’d be better off dead, or should get back into the kitchen?

Within this burgeoning discussion, no-one is denying that ‘trolling’ online is exclusively directed towards women. Men definitely cop it, and yes, women troll women. Haters gonna hate (as they say). But what is clear, particularly when you take the time to read through the #mencallmethings hashtag and associated blog posts, is that women are subjected to a unique, and frankly, ridiculous level of abuse almost entirely based on their sex.

‘Bitch’, ‘slut’, ‘whore’ and ‘love’ are commonly thrown towards women online, along with rape threats and deviant violence references, and are very rarely called out by the woman scorned or by the online community surrounding her and the ‘troll’. They’re given seemingly without consequence, and perpetuated by compliance. I’m often told by colleagues, friends and my partner all with the best of intentions (love you guys), not to worry about the abuse or to fight it or even to respond as “it’s just trolls” or “don’t feed the trolls”.

But you know, I can’t remember the last time I was on the bus, expressed an opinion and had a man pipe up that he was going to knock me off. Nor can I think of a time I’ve been in a cafe, reading a newspaper and commenting on the issues of the day, only to have a man in a mask jump out and tell me I’m a silly little girl that deserves to be raped.

So why does this behaviour occur online? Is it simply because these men are empowered with the safety of their anonymity and computer screen and are acting out long-held feelings of disgust over women?

We wouldn’t tolerate this misogyny on the bus, or in a cafe, or at school or at work or in a pub or Church, so why are we allowing it to happen online? It’s time to call it out, ridicule it, and most importantly, make men stop it. The question is how do we do that? How do we reverse this vile and abusive digital sexism?

Perhaps Dr Phil has the answer; “Awareness without action is worthless”. So, now that we’re becoming aware, what’s your contribution to #mencallmethings ?

Karalee Evans works in advertising but still has her soul as well as a passion for writing, snowboarding and politics. She’s on Twitter @karalee_

Source

12 years ago Short URL 11 Comments

In the News/On the Edge

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26

Jul

Bigots Refooling the Language

our laws – revered and frenziedly invoked by the xenophobes against minorities – unless they themselves are at the receiving end of an arrest warrant and a court appearance. Then the judge, magistrates, lawyers, court staff etc become Commie (see Commie) faggots (see faggots).

our land –  the patriot loves the land even though by legal title it belongs to the British monarch, her heirs and successors, except for certain areas which have been reluctantly handed back to the people who really do own the land, and even when the only contact the patriot has with the native soil is when some effort with the lawnmower is required to remove three months of grass and weeds…unless someone else can be made to do it (see women)

our police – also revered and invoked by the xenophobes against minorities – until a copper pulls the xenophobe up for speeding or they fail the RBT. Then “our police” become the “fukn pigs”.

policelights
elite – Favourite insult of wealthy tabloid writers/shock jocks and their not-so-wealthy followers. Anyone who made it past Year 8 at school and who writes grammatical English, is tolerant of other cultures and who abhors mindless populism appealing to the lowest common denominator.

our culture – see Australian way of life. Undefineable by the best minds in the country, seriously lacking in references to art, music and literature and almost exclusively a male concern (see women)

legitimate concerns – the latest bunch of groundless fears emanating from spam e mails, shock jocks, Internet rumours and the paranoia of xenophobes.


Southern Cross – the constellation Crux which can be seen throughout the Southern Hemisphere but which in the mind of patriots is exclusive to Straya (see patriot). Needless to say it still adorns the white spotty corpus and over-modified gas guzzler of the Troo Patriot.

freedom of speech – a concept which belongs solely to the xenophobe for the expression of xenophobia. Anyone else who points out the irony and inconsistency is immediately labelled an elite (see elite), Commie (see Commie) faggot (see faggot)

women – a prized possession of the male when it comes to stoushes with other groups (‘our women’). Ranks somewhere near the pet Staffy in estimation. Main job is to produce white babies, keep up the beer supply and wear as little as possible.

patriots – people who say they love Straya but don’t much like anyone living there who doesn’t look or act as they do. This includes the original inhabitants, though when convenient for the patriot, can be dragged out to reinforce their xenophobia (see Indigenous people)

patriotism – love of country – as long as it is confined to the deeds of white people and its history doesn’t reach back further than 1788.

white pride– being proud of a genetic tendency to melanoma

multicultural – anyone who doesn’t drink VB or eat foreign food (unless of course it is from a franchise) Also see Commie feminist faggot.

Indigenous people – the group xenophobes pretend to like/have sympathy for but who become the target if there is no one else around.  Xenophobes love to claim (distant) Aboriginal ancestry, as long as it does not exclude the patriot from the ranks of white supremacists (see Aborigines).

Aborigines – people whom the xenophobes have as friends until it is their turn to get bashed (see Indigenous people)

Australian Way of Life – An indefinable concept with vague parameters which seems to consist of mutterings of “a fair go” from a bunch of xenophobes. When you can actually extract a description it generally excludes anyone who isn’t white, male or is/was Christian.

nationalist – a xenophobe who wants to pretend he is  Garibaldi (see patriot)… oh wait, Garibaldi was a wog (see wog)

patriot – a xenophobe who loves his whites-only fantasy land Straya (see nationalist)

protectionist – a xenophobe who wants people to fuck off cos we’re full – unless they’re white

white power – a neo-Nazi who uses a  marketing slogan to define himself. Can we look forward then to Finish to indicate their genocidal tendencies? Or Omo for their social policies?

white flour

white pride – being proud of a tendency to melanoma.

feminist – a woman who won’t date a xenophobe.

faggot – a man who won’t date a xenophobe.

Commies – anyone who votes Labor or anything left of Labor. Or Malcolms Turnbull or Fraser for that matter.

NWO – the New World Order. Something which greatly excites and awes many patriots though they cannot explain it. It has something to do with the Spielberg Group and their dastardly movies. Or a shopping list for Coles. Or something.

Straya – a mythical land of melanin-deficient patriots (see patriot) who dwell on a fantasy past where everyone had a job, the bread was white along with the picket fences and there was no poverty (despite the Depression), no inequality (and those damn women were In The Kitchen) and people learnt good stuff at school (like saluting the flag and singing songs to the English monarch)

uni student – anyone who can spell and write (see elite). In Straya uni students live perpetually on Centrelink and do not wash. Unfortunately for the bigot, the vicissitudes of life necessitate that from time to time the bigot must tear himself away from Stormfront, conspiracy websites and Asian porn and attend the doctor, the dentist and the accountant. If the bigot receives the unwelcome attention of the law for enforcing his/her freedom of speech on the persons or the possessions of his/her opponent, then they will also need a lawyer. All of whom have been uni students at some stage (see elite Commie faggots)

Tough luck!

wog – an old pejorative term used to abuse immigrants of mainly Southern European/Mediterranean background. However those rascally wogs have taken the term and made it their own which means that it can no longer be used by the patriot to Keep Them in their Place. Sometimes life is so unfair. But fortunately there are newer arrivals to engage and exhaust the vocabulary resources of the patriot.

Islam – an ancient religion which is current Phobia of the Month with xenophobes, replacing long-time contender Judaism (for now).

Asians – undifferentiated vaguely threatening population which is going to Take Over Our Country. That is, when the xenophobes return from their holidays in Bali and Phuket, which aren’t really Asia are they?

asian girl

13 years ago Short URL 7 Comments

On the Edge

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